Benny Hinn and other Comedians

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Text and Sound Files taken from Clay Loomis’ Oddities Wav Page

The Photos are my own addition. Listen and Enjoy!

A lot of strange stuff has happened in the world. William Shatner & Leonard Nimoy tried to sing. Jerry Falwell & Pat Robertson think feminists caused the 9/11 tragedy. Some people do very strange things with gerbils, and pay the price. Here you’ll hear about those things and other audio oddities.

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I didn’t digitally fiddle with any of these clips. These people do their own fiddling- with other folks wallets.

There’s this guy named Benny Hinn running a little God sideshow called the Benny Hinn Ministries. Benny whacks people on the head, which cures their cancer and makes their missing limbs grow back. Nice guy. Apparently, lots of people buy that shit too, because they give him a lot of money for that show. Here, Benny explains how he’d like to pop a cap in someone’s ass.
God’s machine gun 32k

benny hinn

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On December 31st, 1989, Benny did some prognostication for the upcoming 1990’s. OOPS!

The Spirit tells Benny-boy that Fidel Castro will die. Swing-and-a-miss, strike one 66k

The Lord tells Benny that in ’94 or ’95 (Apparently, The Lord was kind of vague)
the entire homosexual community in America will be destroyed.

Swing-and-a-miss, strike two 132k

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His wife Suzanne takes the stage and does her act as well. A serious nut-job in her own right, Mrs. Hinn actually said this onstage in front of a huge congregation, and it went out over the airwaves to Hinntites everywhere. The video of this instance of insanity is freely available on the Web. She sounds winded, but it’s only because she’s worn herself out walking back and forth. At the end of all this nonsense she throws herself to the ground and rolls around like she has rabies or something, which, for all I know, she does (it would explain a lot). If anyone is offended by this file, don’t blame me. Talk to the con artists at the Benny Hinn Ministries.
Colonics for Christ 222k

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Jerry Falwell & Pat Robertson blame the 9/11 attacks on the ACLU, feminists, and other Americans. 115k Gee, and all this time I’ve been blaming Muslim terrorists.

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On Monday, 9/22/05, Pat Robertson announced on his nutbag religious show, The 700 Club, that the United States should send in covert operatives and assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. After a huge international uproar, Pat announced on his Wednesday show that his words had been taken out of context and that he never said anything of the kind. YES HE DID! Here is the audio from his Monday show. You tell me, does this sound out of context to you? Of course, assassinating foreign leaders is against U.S. law, but Pat goes on to say that killing Chavez shouldn’t effect shipments of oil from Venezuela. Well, I guess that makes it O.K. for Pat, but I wonder what version of the Bible he’s been smoking.

I find it very disturbing that someone who vents his conservative political agenda so openly can gain tax-free status as well by presenting himself as a man of God. He’s just Rush Limbaugh with a Bible in his pocket. What’s truly frightening is that thousands of stupid Americans listen to and believe this shithead.
If God does exist, Pat Robertson will go straight to Hell! 197k

Jerry Falwell & Pat Robertson
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I love this one. This is a clip featuring Pastor Arnold Murray, of the Shepherd’s Chapel church. During the broadcast, someone obviously arrives off camera and yells “Blasphemy!” Sounds of a struggle can be heard as well. Pastor Arnold brings his finger across his throat to try and cut taping, but before they can cut away, the good pastor whips open his briefcase, pulls out a pistol and……… Well, just give a listen.
No cheek turning here. This is pure Old Testament stuff. Don’t ask me what happened to the boy. This clip goes right up to the end of the broadcast and I know nothing of what happened afterward. The Pastor’s packing heat! 46k

Pastor Arnold Murray

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This is Dr. Fred Price preaching at the Ever Increasing Faith Ministries in California. Here he explains how good Christian kids should deal with drug dealers in their neighborhoods.
Smash their heads with a brick 39k Kids, if you want to live very long, don’t actually try this.

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Holy Szmolinsky – Monster Bunnies heading for North Korea

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Giant Rabbits Hit the Big Screen

By Michael Scott Moore in Berlin

A German breeder of huge hares has hit the big time. A short film about a plan to send monster bunnies to North Korea for food was part of the Berlin Film Festival. It seems that Communist functionaries ate the rabbits before they could benefit the poor.

A German pensioner who made headlines last year for breeding giant rabbits — and selling a batch to North Korea with the idea of easing hunger — is the subject of a short documentary by an American director in the the 2008 Berlin Film Festival. Director Julius Onah made the five-minute film — a clip can be seen by clicking on the video below — after reading about Karl Szmolinsky on SPIEGEL ONLINE. And in doing so, he learned that the rabbits may have been eaten by North Korean functionaries instead of the starving people for whom they were intended.

Szmolinsky is a 68-year-old German living in Eberswalde, near Berlin, who won a prize for breeding a 10.5-kilogram (23.1 pound) rabbit named Robert in 2006. Robert was the size of a small dog. When North Korean leaders saw photos of him they contacted Szmolinsky through a breeding federation, hoping to purchase a line of “German Giant Grays” to alleviate hunger in their hermetic Communist state.

Szmolinsky grew up in East Germany, and he agreed to help. He sold a dozen to the North Koreans at a cut rate — 80 euros instead of the going rate of 200 or 250 euros — and told SPIEGEL ONLINE in early 2007 that the 12 rabbits could produce 60 babies a year. Each animal, he estimated, would feed about eight people. “They’ll be used to help feed the population,” he said at the time. “I’ve sent them 12 rabbits so far; they’re in a petting zoo for now. I’ll be travelling to North Korea in April to advise them on how to set up a breeding farm. A delegation was here and I’ve already given them a book of tips.”

After reading about Szmolinsky during a visit to Germany in January 2007, Onah assembled a film crew. He visited Szmolinsky in the wake of worldwide publicity about his anti-hunger scheme, on a day when the rabbit breeder was fielding phone calls from complete strangers who objected to his deal with the North Koreans.

“We actually didn’t spend that much time talking about the rabbits,” said Onah. “We spent most of our time talking about conditions in East Germany, both before and after the fall of the Wall.” But concerned strangers had started complaining to Szmolinsky for sending live animals to North Korea, where animal-rights standards aren’t up to snuff.

The resulting short, called “Szmolinsky,” concentrates on the harassing phone calls.

Onah, 25, is a graduate student at New York University’s film school and he made “Szmolinsky” to fulfill a class assignment. The film is evocative but not detailed; Onah spent a total of four hours with Szmolinsky and only later learned what became of his project to feed North Korea.

“In April of ’07 Szmolinsky was supposed to go to North Korea himself and oversee the breeding of the rabbits,” Onah told SPIEGEL ONLINE. “But some time between January and April he found out that the rabbits he sent got eaten (by senior officials). All 12 of them. So he refused to cooperate (more…) with the North Koreans.”

Meanwhile the South Korean government has contacted Szmolinsky. “The South Koreans would like him to send his rabbits there,” said Onah, “and they sent this letter which even apologized for the behavior of their neighbors in the north.”

Szmolinsky himself attended the Berlinale premiere of the film with one of his giant rabbits on February 8. Onah said he might make a longer film about the story, given funding and time — he’s interested in the parallels between a divided Cold-War Germany and a divided Korean peninsula — but right now other projects are crowding his schedule.

Monster German Bunnies Rabbits Bunny

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